I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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