Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
