Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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