Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
