MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
