I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
