Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize