'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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