I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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