I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize