everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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