I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize