On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
