Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i believe in u and ur pee
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
