is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize