my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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