Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
