so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
