I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
