biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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