That's when you crack a 10am beer
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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