Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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