I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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