I think I am morally bankrupt
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
this boner is exhausting
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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