More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
