On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
