Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
