Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.