thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool