why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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