I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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