he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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