omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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