When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
How does one acquire holy water?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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