THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
