don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
