hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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