It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
