But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
