My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
