dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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