My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
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He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
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Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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