in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i will never coherently bang her
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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