fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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