Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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