She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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