i was born a porn star she said
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize