I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
