Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize