u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
