I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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