What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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