Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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