If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
