Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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