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I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
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