Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
