so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
