Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
