um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize