what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
