i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
